Achieving Understanding

The Purpose of Language

The purpose of language is to help us understand and relate to each other. Language helps us identify concepts and objects; it helps us understand and make sense of the world around us and the world within us. There is an undeniable, insatiable deep need and drive embedded in the human psyche to understand the “why” behind what we experience and perceive, and language helps us figure this out.

Each of us desires to know why we are thinking, feeling, deciding and behaving as we are, and why others are doing the same. Yet, though human society is well-versed in many languages, there is a great deal of confusion and misunderstanding taking place regarding what is most important to us –– human relating –– and it is painfully obvious that when conflicts arise, we frequently have great difficulty in understanding each other.

Even when a breakthrough in understanding does take place, for many people, it doesn’t take much to derail that process. Why is this? In spite of all we’ve been taught and experienced in life, in this most important area of human relating, the majority of us are significantly lacking in our understanding of the true root causes of conflicts, and therefore, it should be no surprise that we’re just as lacking in our ability to resolve them. Because of this, resolutions we do manage to attain are usually the result of someone concealing the truth, agreeing (but not sincerely), or compromising a value they have (which creates resentment). Thus, many resolutions are only skin-deep, and the underlying causes of recent (or past) conflicts soon return.

Any resolutions we come to that are not in harmony with the language of our heart (with openness, sincerity, compassion and a true desire on everyone’s part to cooperate in achieving high levels of mutual needs-fulfillment) will not last. To achieve resolutions that last, we need to understand the following: 1) The source of conflicts is unmet needs) 2) The cause of conflicts is negative reactions to unmet needs, and 3) To live in harmony with each other, we must dedicate ourselves to learning how to consistently relate with each other in ways that meet each other’s needs in mutually beneficial ways.

To accomplish the latter, we need to learn how to use our current language’s vocabulary in very different ways. We must be open to our heart’s desire to awaken us to the truth that we have the ability to learn, grow, figure things out and to change. Once we understand the root source of conflicts (unmet needs), and the root cause of conflicts (negative reactions to unmet needs), we become open to learning new heart-centered ways of living, relating and communicating with each other that will transform the current deficiencies we are experiencing with each other, into cooperative, caring, life-enriching relating.